Keeping sane in the early years of teaching.
From a friends post: “Ok, I just graded 11 presentations out of 20 that were due Wednesday. Yeah, 9 kids haven’t even turned theirs in yet. This is the same class that was horsing around DURING A TEST. I am ready to give up. Is it any wonder I am having flash migraines that cause me to nearly pass out and vomit in class? Any wonder at all???”
This is written by a friend, in her first year of teaching, limited by the rule, both spoken and unspoken, to not flunk students, even if they don’t try. Nonsense I say. But I can’t change her system.
The hardest thing for me in the early years of teaching was to honor my effort, accept the things that were not perfect, in fact, lousy, and crowd management.
The first few years will definitely challenge one’s faith in self, human nature, the school system and the world. I had to tell myself regularly, that despite appearances, everything is exactly as it should be. I borrowed this from Cognitive Behavior Therapy or some such thing. Also, I can’t fix it all, and what I can fix, I can’t fix overnight.
The only thing I could fix was my attitude. I told myself, despite my imperfections, I was the best person for the job. I mentioned that in a previous post, and won’t belabor the issue.
It took me a long time, to worry less about content and care more about kids. Initially they scared the bejezus out of me. They were also clear proof to anyone looking in that I was totally incompetent, especially when it came to classroom management. I was barely holding on. I threatened. Insulted. Yelled. I humiliated them. I’ve had to apologize to many a kids later on when I bumped into them for the way I treated them.
Until I came up with really clear expectations about their work, and how it was to be graded, I gave easy A’s. Teaching 200 kids per year, I still do. For really important stuff, I make it super clear and give the grades earned. Kids need to learn there are consequences for their not following through. As my mother would say, that’s a tough (or sometimes expensive) way to learn a lesson.
But there are times when the assignment is very clear, in other words, CYA, and I let the kids earn the grade they deserve. I have a poster on my classroom wall at one school that says “Don’t be upset by the results you didn’t get for the work you didn’t do”.
One of my earliest parent meetings was over the C grade their precious daughter earned in my class but a straight A student in all others. The mom was loaded for bear. The dad, a local attorney, was a little more rational. I explained the best I could what the daughter had not done, and the mother pointed out my teaching and communication wasn’t perfect, and in the end I said. “Look at all these grades. Can you explain to me why 95% of my students are doing the work, and yours isn’t, with the very same instruction and communication?” The mom wanted to continue to argue, but the dad said “I now understand where the problem is. Thank you Mr. Tidyman.” and he pulled his wife out of the room.
My teaching isn’t perfect. My expectations may not always be clear so I cut them quite a bit of slack, but when most are getting it, and the few that aren’t clearly are not being responsible, and I can prove it, and parents are complaining, generally, do what my brother used to say; “Kill’em with kindness”.
When I started really caring for the kids, everything changed. Oh sure, there were some behaviors I had to change but to the degree that I communication overtly or subtly that I cared about them, things got better. In fact the kids would really overlook my frailties because they started to care and accept me as a flawed human being as well.
Back in the late ’90s, I hung a poster on the back of the wall in the classroom for ME to see that read “Kids don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” which is similar to “Kids won’t remember what they said but they will remember how you made them feel.”
So now, even when I have to stop behaviors in my classroom, I try to remember to do it kindly, without my previous method of threats, shame and humiliation. That’s not to say that sometimes I don’t really get upset but most of the time, I’m trying to say something like “Kate, we’ve got work to do and I’ve asked you to stop a few times already. I think the world of you but you just earned yourself a demerit and a trip to the principal’s office. Let’s do better tomorrow.”
Finally, get involved with other teachers teaching the same thing. Join the professional organization for your area. Go to their conference. The first time I went, I was ready to quit teaching. I looked around at 40+ teachers, ranging from bumps on a log to three piece suites and it dawned on me, these guys were just like me one day, and if they figured it out, I can figure it out. And with their help and encouragement, I can figure it out a lot faster.
How to survive the early years?
- Practice self-worth and self-appreciation and cut yourself some slack.
- Accept your imperfections and do the best you can without detriment to yourself.
- Make friends with others in the same profession and get support; logistical, practical, emotional, etc.
- Care about the kids more than test scores. When they know you care, they will care. If they think you don’t care, they not only won’t care but will find ways to make your life in the classroom miserable.
- Have a life outside of teaching. Make new friends. Join a club. Get involved outside of school. Go to church. Join a gym. Because if the teacher ain’t happy, ain’t nobody gonna be happy.
From a conference in the late 90’s or early 2000s.
No comments:
Post a Comment