First years of teaching

First years of teaching

Posted on December 9, 2015

A friend of mine, who I’ll refer to as “K” posted on her facebook how she anticipated having her ass handed to her today.  I’m not sure if she means this is an evaluation, or she said or did something that is frowned upon by higher ups or what.  I hope to find out later.  Maybe my reflection on teacher evaluations and how I survived the first few years might encourage her.

I know, let me tell you, I know very well the anticipation, no the FEAR of evaluations.  I was convinced the first several eyars that I was not good enough.  I didn’t know enough.  Didn’t have the skills.  Couldn’t control the classroom.  Was out of my leagure.  Convinced my four year degree was a waste of time and money.

In reality, I didn’t have the skills YET.  I didn’t have control of my classroom YET. I was a pretty lousy teacher.  I lost my temper regularly.  I wanted them to learn stuff.   The truth was though, and I had to remeind myself daily, if not minute by minute that despite my failings and imperfections, my fear, my near panic attacks, I WAS GOOD ENOUGH.  In fact, they hired me.  Despite my incompetence, the available experts considered me the best person for the job. I AM THE BEST PERSON FOR THE JOB. At least until told otherwise.

As for evaluations, or having an administrator hand me my ass on a platter, it has happened.  Oh boy, it has happened.  I’ve learned this though.  In most cases, even though I expencted a reprimand, the admin’s goal was to simply help me be better.  Even when I knowlingly took the risk of violating a minor policy…well, minor to me, and I got busted, it was for my own good.

A good administrator has the goal of making you the best eacher possible.  That comes in the form of correcting us when we go down a path that is hazardous.  As long as I keep that in mind, I can look forward to the prospect of becoming a better teacher with their input.

Are there administrative types and I’ll add mentors that are harsh, unsympathetic, insulting, humiliating, and shaming.  Heck yeah.  And they are in the wrong job.  They have not evolved.  Anyone who thinks they can influence other sto change through shame and humiliation is clueless.  they themselves are probably job scared themselves, or have such a fledgling ego, they need to make others feel inferior through intimidation and verbal beat downs.  Just smile and say thanks for your input.

On the rare occasions when I felt like someone was really riding roughshod over me, in my mind I’m thinking “This is more about them than it is about me.”  “I’m the best person for the job.” “This too shall pass.”  “Thank God there is Karma.” “This person hasn’t been supported they way they should have, or they wouldn’t be acting like this.” Just smile and say thanks for the input.

After 25 years of teaching, I can now say I have absolutely no fear over an administrator walking in unexpectedly or for a planned evaluation.  I tell myself, they are here not to insult me, but to help me, to build me up, to make me a better teacher.  And if they find something not to their liking, I’ll try to improve  if I agree with them, and if it fits into my schedule.  There is only so much time in a day you know.  And there is more to life than one’s career.